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Reflections on Grace and Forgiveness,

By Ellen Rose, Nov 10, 2005


     This week I sat down with an old friend and listened as she told the story of her son's tragedy. I had known the circumstances but not the details. Listening to her and weeping with her over God's immeasurable grace, I couldn't help but think, "Man, what a powerful witness of God’s love!"

      "Robert" was enjoying college life a couple of years ago when he hopped behind the wheel of his vehicle with his friend in the passenger seat. The friend, like many young and carefree students, neglected to buckle his seat belt. You can imagine the rest of the details: entering an intersection close on the bumper of a truck; light turning red, yet unseen by Robert because of the truck; traffic moving from the other side of the intersection. Robert and another vehicle crash; his friend is thrown from the vehicle and sustains massive head injuries. In an instant life is forever altered for Robert. He appears unhurt but is rushed with his friend to the hospital; families are called; fear mingles with hope and threatens to overtake it.

     At the hospital my friend marvels that her son has sustained only scrapes and bruises but fears the worst for his friend. The staff is very quiet. Medical personnel hurry by Robert’s room, all going in the direction of the trauma bay. Something bad is going on. The chaplain says, "It's bad. They're working on him in the trauma room." Robert pleads with his mom to find out about his friend, and she leaves to investigate.

     On the way to the trauma area my friend encounters a distressed woman who asks, "Are you Robert's mom?"

     "Yes, I am," she responds, unsure what is coming next. "I'm 'Jeremy's' aunt. I need to ask you something. Was Jeremy wearing his seatbelt?"

     "No," my friend replied as gently as possible.

     "Then I need to see your son right now," the aunt said. Understandably suspicious, my friend peered into the aunt's eyes, fearful of her motives. "I have to talk to your son," the aunt repeated. "I have to tell him this wasn't his fault!"

     Overwhelmed with relief, my friend said, "Yes, you do need to talk to Robert right away," and led the aunt to his bedside. Soon the halls were lined with fraternity brothers crying, talking quietly and openly praying for their friends' recovery. Some stood; others fell to their knees in the floor of that hall and wept while praying their friend would survive. Still no word from the trauma room.

     The parents arrived. Not long after they saw their mangled son, the boy's father retreated to the hall. My friend went to meet him for the first time, frightened but determined to share that bond of parents in distress at an inconceivably difficult time. "My son was just fine physically, and his son was literally fighting for his life," she told me. "What could I possibly say? There were no words, yet I had to go."

     The father greeted her with, "I need to see Robert. I must tell him this wasn't his fault!" The tears flowed, not only in that hospital hall but also at our breakfast table. What outrageous grace and forgiveness -- not once but twice!

     "Jeremy" didn't survive. "Robert" wanted (and needed) to say goodbye to his friend. Jeremy's father invited my friend to bring her son to the trauma room. Shaky and grief-stricken, Robert headed down the hall. "Jeremy's" dad was standing there. He opened his arms and took Robert into his embrace. "You were Jeremy's friend.  This is not your fault.  My son loved you, and I do too."

     Sound familiar? Our Father loves us unconditionally, even when we make mistakes, and pours His grace on us. This Thanksgiving season I am thankful to God for health, for expert medical care, and for love of friends and family. But mostly I'm thankful for God's unconditional, irrepressible, inimitable, and unfathomable grace and forgiveness. I expect you are too.